I Want My $12 Back

Okay, actually, just $10. You can keep the tip.

I have a serious love for egg rolls. The east coast kind. The kind in the actual egg roll wrapper with cabbage and pork with the delicious duck sauce on the side. I want it piping hot and practically burning my mouth.

In New Orleans, there is a perversion of sorts going on because many restaurants have both egg roll and spring roll on the menu but give you the same thing regardless of the order. They are not the same. But, as I’ve established it as a known risk when ordering an egg roll in the Crescent City, I am prepared for the letdown. (If you are looking for straight egg roll, Bamboo Restaurant on Downman Rd., conveniently located down the street from New Orleans East’s most popular strip club, will set you straight.)

Recently, I’d heard a buzz about a new food truck called Electric Eggroll. Everyone was excited about their take on an egg roll; but they also serve a unique selection of either steamed or fried dumplings. So, the other day when I was leaving the office, I saw the eccentric colored food truck at a usual spot for food trucks to park up for lunch downtown and decided I should definitely pull over.

Knowing that the way to go is *not* traditional, I ordered an egg roll with ginger and beets and an order of tofu steamed dumplings. I was pretty excited. I love beets. I love ginger. I definitely love steamed dumplings. (Just don’t give an an egg roll or dumplings with those tiny shrimp in them. That looks like fish food and makes me nauseated.)


What a letdown. The dumplings were good but they added something to soy sauce and I wasn’t a huge fan. I sort of feel like $6 for three average vegetarian dumplings is  big excessive. But my biggest issue was the egg roll. UGh. That pink sauce was flavorless and a container of mayonnaise would have lent better to the beet egg roll. (That sounds gross, too.) Ugh at least if I’d had the option of grabbing a few packets of that sticky sweet orange deliciousness I could at least have enjoyed it a little bit.

When you order a traditional egg roll, the filling is hot too. The pork and the cabbage – hot. This was a cold, raw salad inside a crispy wrapper with a gross dipping sauce. Lame. I actually enjoyed the little salad of the filling that they put on the side more than the bit inside the wrapper.

What a let down. At least now I can save myself the calories. I don’t want a pizza egg roll. If i want pizza, I’ll go get fucking pizza. Thanks, but no thanks. And…can I get a refund?


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I have feelings, lots of them. I love to write, I love to party, and I probably have more fun than you do. Follow my blog to have all the fun with me.

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