We all know that technology is not my strength. The only time that any of my gadgets required for convenient functioning in today’s world are updated is if Sometimes Boyfriend is around. So…nothing is updated.
Any time that little box pops up in the right hand corner of my MacBook to tell me that it is time to update and asks: Now? In an hour? Try Tonight? or Try Tomorrow? I always say tomorrow, but what I really mean is NEVER, BITCH. I never want to update because then I can’t find things.
Case in point: iTunes. If you mistakenly update your iTunes, it is basically impossible to find or play music until you’ve hemorrhaged an hour of your time clicking around just so you can play your “pump up mix” before engaging with society. UGH PEOPLE ARE THE WORST.
In a crazy turn of luck/Find My iPhone genius, I managed to keep my original iPhone 5 until it was time for an upgrade. Toward the end of that 2-year cycle, my phone stopped ringing sometimes. I think it is because the memory was so full of music and other things that the phone just was unable to function. (No, I didn’t update that regularly either…I know. I am a terrible person.) This actually worked out because it made me seem busy or unavailable when Sometimes Boyfriend called/texted late night. (I was absolutely not doing anything but being annoyed at my fucked up phone.) Anyway, the joyous day came when it was time for a new one. Huzzah!!! I learned a bit from the last one that a) I use it for mostly checking my email, flipping through Tumblr (nothing PG) and sending text messages filled with everything ranging from the “Be there in 5” to some pretty hot and heavy sexting. Phones! Yay! I also use it to take photos. So, for this new fancy iPhone 6 I upped my data and memory to double my pleasure. And lately, that lousy thing has not been ringing. WHYYYY??!!
So, you probably noticed, it is Christmas time! Basically the worst time ever to try to go to the Apple store. AT THE MALL. (Read: MALL PARKING LOT.) For that reason, and because I am a lousy adult sometimes, I was planning on suffering through a few more weeks of missed texts and phone calls. Or the alternative: obsessively looking at my phone to see if I missed anything. Kind of a fun activity if you like masochism.
But alas, yesterday, I found myself at the mall. After attempts at shopping local and shopping online, I found myself in a situation where the only option was the dreaded mall. Dun Dun Dunn.
And I did it! The parking lot was a madhouse so I just drove as far away as possible and mentally prepared myself to be soaking wet walking back to the car since the weather forecast called for heavy rains – and it is New Orleans so just because the sun is out now, does not mean a thing for later
Actually when I was walking up to the mall a very practical lady asked me if I was leaving. Pro move – slowly follow someone, preferably sort of youthful, to their car to call dibs on their spot. To her dismay I just was making the long haul in.
After much debate because “I don’t even know where the Apple store is” and other random excuses, I literally walked past it and figured, “Ugh I guess so…” And entered to multiple happy greetings and then ultimately found the correct iPad bearing helper that is color coded Green for tech support. I did my best to hide my outright rage to be even standing in this store and asked politely how long the wait would be. He asked what the problem was, and I told him. And then he looked at my phone, laughed a little. And shared this amazing tidbit of information:
“Do you see that half moon at the top?” he says, “That means your phone is on Do Not Disturb, so no one can reach you unless they call repeatedly or they are on your favorites list.”
Me: I actually did LOL. And then, because I have moments of practicality, asked him to please show me where that function is so that if I ever accidentally find a half moon again, I can turn it off myself. OR, since everyone sucks anyway, maybe I just turn that right back on because lets be real: DO NOT DISTURB.