Do you remember that Bananas post when I went all Joan Rivers on my employer over pro-Confederacy propaganda, the rewriting of history and the blasphemy that is not offering NUGGETS AND FRIES during a forced meal of Chick-fil-A? Kind of bad form but as is the tradition on my lovely blog, no one was named specifically and at the time, I was already planning on giving notice. And I did! Today is my last day! So, in honor of my grand exit, I will allocate some time to my favorite pastime (aside from sex and anything sexual, working out, reading and eating): My blog. Although, my blog is really the glue that binds my passion for sex, working out, reading and eating so it remains cozy and warm under the blanket of My Favorite Things.
I am also a little bit hungover. And when I say a little bit, I really mean a lot. Yesterday was my favorite editor’s book release party for her debut novel Destroying Angel. If you are reading my blog than you, like me, are thinking ERMYGOOOD that is So Cool. It is. I’m a huge fan of YA and Fantasy and I crushed her book poolside in two days. It didn’t hurt that I had private access to a gorgeous pool and a perfect floatation device for tanning and reading. The book happens to be a great size for holding over your face to block the sun if you are looking for something to do this weekend. I laughed when I pulled it out for her to sign and it had the well-worn look of all books that I enjoy. Seriously, if the book had feelings it might reciprocate with a “Whoa, that was great…let’s do it again!” And since all great reads are really like a passionate love affair anyway, this book had some serious bed head. I had a glass of wine to cheers the release of Destroying Angel, and met the family and friends before heading to my planned dinner adventure.
My friend and I rescheduled his birthday dinner a few times. First they were closed, then he broke a nasty fall off his bike with his face and we had to wait for that to heal. So, 6 weeks after the actual birthday we celebrated with dining at Coquette, the delicious restaurant that happens to be the setting of one of our favorite Drunk in Public stories. (Another time maybe…) They are doing a fun summer promotion of a 5-course “mystery menu” so you have no idea what you are going to eat until it is served.
We both glanced at the cocktail list before laughing and realizing that the best before-dinner (after book release) drink is going to be a martini. He favors gin but whatever, my vodka and his gin – l’chaim. The first course was great, it was a ham product (I forget, not prosciutto) that was folded in on itself so that the shaved cheese, diced pair and hazelnuts could fill it like a cornucopia. We opted against the wine pairing and ordered a bottle of red and a bottle of white. Did I mention that I have a headache? Because I do. There was a really great shrimp dish which was a chilled soup kind of thing that I found to be quite pleasing. Horseradish foam!!! At first we joked about the fact that it was foam, but that shit was delicious. Then there was something else at some point. I wasn’t drunk until after dessert because we were being pretty reasonable about sipping through dinner, but for whatever reason I could not tell you what I’m forgetting. I’m sure it was great. But the chicken! Ughghgh disappointing. They brought out these incredibly fancy knives and I was really excited. And then, thankfully they left the skin on which was delicious, they gave us a freaking chicken breast on top of overcooked Spanish-style rice. Lame.
Even more lame was dessert. Citrus something blah blah blah. It didn’t taste bad or anything, I mean, it was dessert, but I wanted chocolate. Chocolate. I am a natural problem-solver and found a way around their only-one-menu-on-Tuesday by purchasing sweets elsewhere. I walked across the street to Starbucks and got us those fancy non-Reese’s peanut butter cups and a dark chocolate covered graham cracker bar. That…hit the spot. We also each had an amaro. No wonder I was in prime form later. And by prime form I mean that I was no fun and should not make plans (damn it, love sucks.) after making plans to get intentionally really intoxicated knowing what a game of Russian roulette that can be. I picked up my car in the morning after a half of a shower. I anticipated feeling rough so I prepacked tuna salad, chia pudding and some cucumbers and grapes. Tuna was good for covering the booze scent that just would NOT go away.
I found out I got into grad school yesterday, so YAY me. Today my mother seriously asked me “What is your plan for partying?” She meant not partying and I didn’t have an answer so I went all sullen-teenager and said “K Bye” Sorry, mom, I’m hungover and dutifully closing down shop at work. I’m keeping the employee handbook of crazy rules for my memoir. I am also taking home a gem from the “free book box” called, Junior Lifeguard Baywatch: Hobie Gets a Life. It include a color photos in the middle. I didn’t remember Quinn having so much thigh. You go girl. I’m only sad that they don’t have perforated edges for me to tear out the pages and hang them on my wall.