I stumble and I fall down both metaphorically and literally. Often. Life is hard, and these things happen. I’m also kind of clumsy and have a penchant for questionable decision-making. Seems to be the case right? But you fall down, get up because here we are, all of us, doing it. Yeah!
On Friday, I literally ate shit pretty hard on my run. I was deeply involved in an inner monologue in which I was high fiving myself for throwing on some long underwear for what I hoped would be one of the last winter runs of the season and going over the rest of my day and the next month because I have some important and stressful things on the horizon. Clearly I didn’t notice the branch that my left toe got caught on until I was flat out on my belly. I mean all the way down. I’ve been tripped up before but I can’t remember a time when I was all the way prone on my stomach just laid out on the ground like that. My regular 4.5 mile loop travels mostly on the neutral ground, the grassy space where the street car tracks traverse the city, so a lot of it is grass. And grass is WAY softer than pavement and I was happy to find myself laying on the grass and not pavement. I’m gonna go ahead and give a “Wohoo!” to that.
And, fortunately, when you are really distracted, it is kind of like the way you fall when you are drunk. Most injuries that result from a fall come from bracing against the impact. That is why drunken people seem to bounce – because they never saw it coming. I definitely didn’t see it coming. Except on Friday morning I was not drunk. I actually wasn’t even hungover…fancy that. Just so incredibly distracted that I was oblivious to any treacherous ground. (I do, however, pay attention to traffic.) I slammed a little harder on my left knee and my right wrist, but don’t worry, I wasn’t injured. To be sure that I was actually fine, I did the wrist test that Gordon Bombay made Adam Banks do in the first Mighty Ducks. Without the hokey stick, I just tried to turn my wrist holding my iPhone. I don’t own a hockey stick.
I’ve had a number of drunken spills in my day so I assure you, I am an expert on this topic. I am also an expert on The Mighty Ducks. Now, go get it with your bad self and try not to fall down too hard, that shit hurts.