I don’t care if you are starving and haven’t eaten a “bad carb” in a week and every single other line in the food court is 20 deep. I know those lo mein noodles have a sheen that says “I’m not greasy, I’m delicious!” I hear ya that the “grab and go” selection of salads at a whopping $15 sounds (and is) insane and who could possibly pay that much for a salad with questionable, cold chicken on top. And you braved the mall (or are stuck on a layover at the airport!) and you deserve a treat.
I understand that you give zero fucks that General Tso’s Chicken has no connection to any real general and it is an Americanized dish. Let’s face it, its fried chicken not dipped but tossed! And in a delicious sticky sweet/spicy sauce! I don’t even consider such a dish when I am ordering from a legit restaurant, but something about the food court style of buffet goodness where you must pick TWO not ONE proteins for your combo plate value draws you to such a monstrosity.
It’s okay to want it. Just don’t give in. You can linger, you can get up close and personal with the buffet-style chafing dish display of veggie fried rice, chicken with broccoli and some unknown mixture of vegetables and what may or may not be meat. No one – seriously no one ever – feels good after it. Best-case scenario you dump out half of the plate after realizing that your $8 value was not such a value and this is disgusting and will make you sick. It’s not even hot. Worst-case you fell weak on such an option at the AIRPORT and now you are on a plane and your stomach hates you and your neighbor hates you too.
Take heed, friends. No on wants to be peeing yellow out of their butt. And if you are going to binge eat Chinese food, there are way better ways to indulge. Your stomach will thank you. Your future self will thank you too.
Now, go wait in line for your smoothie like you are supposed to. Or…if you must indulge, Wendy’s is usually pretty fast, even with an insane line. Or perhaps you can find a burrito joint?