So you read my last post, and you are like “Fuck you, Andrea. I don’t feel like defrosting the salmon in the freezer and I just tossed the kale today because I prematurely went grocery shopping and that shit was wilting.”
Fine. Me too. Don’t worry, order Chinese take-out. Definitely bring that home. I am absolutely not condoning a spree at some random buffet. You should have that number saved, and a back up number in case your first choice happens to be closed.
Christmas? No worries, I’m a Jew…that’s a thing. At least in the Northeast. Not sure about Louisiana but it is probably true here too. Unless it’s like bagels, in which case I’m sorry for getting your hopes up. And also don’t feel bad because they probably make a TON of money on Christmas. My work is open 365 days a year, and you know what…that’s their thing. We deal.
Chinese food is basically the cure-all, and can be consumed in bed if you really are feeling like getting down with it. It also makes for great leftovers, so don’t worry if you open the bag and they gave you utensils for 5. No big deal. You know there is no family eating this smorgasbord and they might too but they’d rather err on the side of caution. PLUS think of all the fortune cookies you get to open and not eat. Jackpot.
It’s better than Tinder. 30 seconds on my friend’s the other day I nixed everyone. And remain adamant that I will never, in fact, download that App. (Guess who learned what an App is? THIS GIRL!) Group picture? What the shit is that? I am not trying to group-date. Can’t tell how tall your are? Nope. Picture looks like it is ten years old? Definitely not. I’d rather cuddle up with some Chicken with Asparagus and Hot and Sour Soup.